Happy National Coming Out Day!
I believe a day like today is more than just swinging through the closet doors and flaunting a true-to-you, new-to-others identity to everyone within the sound of the pulsating rhythms of Born this Way. Coming out is a process that is self-determined according to personal strength and courage in relation to the complex nature of surrounding relationships.
Regardless of where you are in the coming out process, pause for a few moments today to reflect on the space where you are in the journey…
Perhaps you are at the beginning stages of discovery, learning who you want to be and determining how you want others to perceive you. You may not be ready to fling into a full-time transition for any number of reasons: a threat to your marriage or partnership, a risk in the loss of your job, or a paralyzing fear of altering your body with hormones or surgery that may not produce the fullness of results that you desire. The conflict is so loud in your mind that you can barely hear yourself think. On this day, just stop. Stop the noise. Stop the internal conflict. Stop the negative self-talk. Breathe in; breathe out. Today, make it your goal to simply come out to yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself. You are worthy to be who you really are.
You might be somewhere in the process of transitioning and presenting as the gender that is intrinsically you. You may feel impatient that physical changes are not coming fast enough. You might be frustrated that your family or your friends don’t understand your decision to present this way. You may be financially strapped and unable to afford the surgery that you believe is critical to your whole self. Your complaint box is full and your wish list is long. So do something different today: Use this day to focus your mind on one change you can make that is attainable and realistic. Set a goal that is specific and time-bound. Make a plan and commit to the work it will take to get it done.
Maybe you have been living in your authentic identity for quite some time now. Are you helping others understand your journey or do you find yourself becoming tired and defensive when answering the same questions over and over? Are you open and transparent about the way you have shaped gender or have you chosen to live stealth? Do you try to forget the gender in which you were raised? Today, remember the struggle you and your family faced in the initial stages when you shifted your gender expression along with the desperate need you felt to connect with someone else who shared your struggle. Today, consider adjusting your approach and willingness to share your story with others who are searching to know someone just like you. The comfortability you have with your whole self is mirrored to those around you.
Regardless of your outed wear, this is a special day to celebrate who you are and where you have been in your journey. This is a day that has been set aside to reflect, encourage, and nudge you toward living a life of authenticity, openness, and transparency. Make this day worthwhile. Move one small step closer to present that version of you that you want people to know best. Make your outer wear, outed wear.
~ Julie Walsh
